There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.
I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings.
Anonymous asked: What is your advice to a 14 year old trying to get rid of a bad addiction?
A post from zenhabits. Put the link at the bottom for those interested in the full article.
- Do your best. Realize that your best will be different depending on the time of the day, and how much energy you have. Whatever you’re doing, simply do your best. This will help you overcome playing the victim with yourself and seeking back into self pity. Self pity fuels the cycle of repeating what you’ve always done. If you stay in the realm of self pity, your feeling sorry for yourself will make you feel like you’re helpless to change your situation. Always do your best and avoid playing the victim.
- Chip away. The hardest part about changing habits is that they’re a pattern. We’re comfortable doing what we have always been doing. Even though we aren’t necessarily happy with what we’re doing, it’s more comfortable following the same pattern than breaking it. Much of this is because we get intimidated trying to make drastic changes. Overhauling your life will never be accomplished in a single day, so just take it easy. Take it one day, or hour, at a time if you need. Commit to changing your habit for just today.
- Build momentum. A lot of people will tell you to thing big, act small. Thinking about the big picture is important, but if we want to building momentum, we need to think small and act big. By thinking small, we’re able to mentally digest the changes we want to make. By thinking small and acting big, we can commit for a short period of time and put all our energy into that commitment. Then we can build momentum on mini-milestones.
- Change your environment. Typically, the easiest way to create a new habit is to change our environment to reinforce it. If you want to start practicing yoga daily, set your yoga mat out every night, so you see it when you first wake up. Subscribe to yoga related blogs; print yoga photos and put them up around your room; get a screensaver of your favorite yoga poses, etc. The more triggers we have in our environment that enforce our habit, the less work your mind has to do to make you believe it’s going to be a habit.
- One thing at a time. This isn’t something new that you’ve never read on Zen Habits. But so many people get gung-ho about a total life makeover, they try to do everything at once. They get excited; they want to change their diet, exercise habits, social life, career, values, etc. They put all their energy in as many directions as possible. Then what happens? It fizzles. It’s like a chef getting excited about the possibility of a hundred different flavors, so she adds them all. The end result turns into an incomprehensible mess. Focus on mastering one thing at a time. You’ll thank yourself later.
- Be persistent. Persistence is the enemy of the rut. The only thing between where you are now and where you want to be is really persistence. If you can develop the ability to be highly persistent, you’ll succeed where others give up. It’s in failing many times and getting back on your feet that you make progress.
- Reject perfection. We have a tendency to put things off endlessly, because we’re afraid of imperfections. This is pretty silly. If your dream is to become a master pianist, wouldn’t you have rather tried and failed than not tried at all?
- Do some value work. Staying aligned with my values is something that’s helped me stay motivated toward breaking micro-addictions. If you don’t know what your values are, simply ask yourself what’s most important to you. Take a moment to think about it, but don’t think to hard. Go with your gut and whatever comes to mind first. My top values are authenticity, clarity, and balance. When I’m doing things that aren’t aligned with my values, I’m unhappy. When I’m closely aligned with my values, though, I feel fulfilled. If you can keep your values in mind at all times, it makes making the right decision much easier.
- Be content. We often get so caught up with improving our lives and achieving our goals that we forget to be content. The truth is, if we don’t take the time to appreciate things the way they are now, we’ll most likely resent personal development. By having gratitude and contentment, you’ll reinforce your will to grow. It’s a lot more motivating when you know that you will actually appreciate the achievements you have made, rather than only focusing on your shortcomings.
- Stop thinking. How much time do you spend thinking about what you really want to do? How much of your life do you spend daydreaming about the life you want to lead, rather than just living it? It’s amazing how much fear of failure and fear of the unknown can hold us back. But wouldn’t it make more sense to spend all that energy taking physical steps toward your goals, rather than imaginary ones? I think we could all do with a little less thinking and a little more doing.
At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.